I Decided

"Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having." - Unknown

Determining whether or not to move on from something is never an easy decision. The situation can be made easier if the person has done something wrong like cheating or lying. In those cases, there is usually very little question about what you need to do. My problem is with the "grey areas". I think most people would agree that cheating is a fireable offense but, there are other situations that could inevitably lead to the demise of a relationship.

I'm from the school of thought that says whatever you had to do to gain a person's interest and subsequently enter into a relationship with that person is the same thing that you'll have to do to maintain it. If you made time to call, text, and see this person on a regular basis then you will have to keep that up. Granted, no one can sustain that lovey-dovey, see each other all the time, phase that every relationship goes through in the beginning. For the first couple of months, you might want to spend every waking moment with that person but as more time passes the level of communication evens out. At any rate, there should at least be a minimal baseline standard of communication and physical contact that you can't fall beneath. When you find that you, or your SO, isn't doing everything that you know he or she should, sometimes it's easier to say "I don't have time" or "I'm busy" to mask the deeper issues that are at play. What I've found is that people who use these excuses often continue to take on other frivolous activities and commitments with no hesitation. That makes me wonder, how busy can you really be? When this happens, what they are nonverbally telling you is, "I don't want to make time" or "I don't see this relationship as a priority that deserves my time." In my opinion, that is a fireable offense that deserves the same result as cheating, or lying, or anything else.

No one wants to be in a one-sided "relationship" that leaves you feeling unappreciated and unvalued however, you also don't want to "jump the gun" by ending it over something that seems to be easily fixable. It's viewed as a "fixable" problem because you rationalize that if we just spent more time together things would be better. And it should be easy to 'spend more time' with the person that you're in a relationship with, right? They say "advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't." I've spent a lot of time analyzing and seeking the opinions of others regarding how to proceed even though deep down I already knew the answer. Time is not something that you should have to ask for when you're in a relationship. When in a relationship, I give my all and I expect the same in return. If a person can't do that, then that is not a person that I can be in a relationship with.