Number One

Selfishness - The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; the supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct her purposes to the advancement of her own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others.

Not too long ago, someone told me that I was selfish. The way it happened is that I was telling him about a situation in my life involving me and another person. If the situation in question were to take place it would greatly benefit the other party however it wouldn't benefit me. Matter of fact not only would it not benefit me, it would be to the detriment of the way I hoped the situation would play out. Initially I was a little taken aback that he called me that and I took offense to it. After thinking about it further, I realize that I was indeed being selfish however, I think it's okay to be selfish sometimes. I would even postulate that, as a single woman with no kids or commitments, I have an obligation to be selfish in certain situations. ' Selfishness' when applied correctly and in moderation, can get you ahead and keep you out of bad situations.

The way I see it is, you have to look out for numero uno. No one could possibly be more concerned with your best interests than you. If you don't look out for yourself people will use you to their benefit with no regard as to whether or not that situation benefits you and your higher need. This can be in work, family, or relationships. It really doesn't matter where.

I'm a naturally loyal & selfless person so it took me a while to evolve to this way of way of thinking. However, when it comes down to it I don't have a husband nor children that I'm obligated to. Why would I lay down my own self-interest and advancement to promote others who would not do the same for me? If you turn your well-being and development over to another person, without advocating for your own self-interests, then you will almost always end up disappointed.

Often as women, we end up playing the 'savior' role in which we lay down our goals, dreams, and ambition to "ride" for someone else. Why? If it's not someone that you're legally bound to or at least truly committed to, in words and actions in a reciprocal way, I feel that you should not be expected to do this. Make no mistake, I think there is nothing more beautiful than a couple that can selflessly make sacrifices for one another but you have to get to that point. You shouldn't be throwing your needs, wants, and desires down after the first date to make yourself a better "fit" for someone else's. There's nothing worse than spending years "having someone's back" only to realize that person never had yours. I feel that type of loyalty and selflessness has to be earned. If looking out for number one makes me selfish, then I'll wear that label as a badge of honor.

How selfish are you? Take this quiz to find out.
http://blogthings.com/howselfishareyouquiz/