What about your friends?

"Friends....How many of us have them" -Whodini

Webster defines a friend as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Whodini’s definition of a friend is a little more grimy.

As I continue through my life, I’m learning that the label of “friend” can sometimes be a loaded word. In my personal world, I would say that there are 3 distinct types of people that may fall under the umbrella of the word friend at any given time. Those are associates, frenemies, and friends. Today I want to talk about Frenemies.

You’re probably asking why would anyone be “friends” with a frenemy? Well in my experience, frenemies never start out that way.

The first rule in the 48 Laws of Power is “Don’t outshine the master”. I don’t know what this looks like in male friendships but when it comes to SOME women, this is the gospel. It’s all good as long as you are both unhappy. It’s all good as long as you are both overweight. It’s all good as long as you both don’t have a man. It’s all good as long as neither of you gets a raise. The minute one person comes “up” without the other, the transition from friend to frenemy begins. The crazy thing is the come up doesn’t have to be real. It could be completely imagined or exaggerated in the other person’s mind.

Do you have any “friends” that you can call them if something bad happens and they seem almost happy to hear about it? You found out your man was cheating… yep, she has time to talk. You got fired…bam she is right there. Your plan failed….She can talk for hours. It’s good to have support during these times but what about the good times? Why is it that some people can talk to you all night about why all are men are dogs but when you finally find a good man they can’t be bothered to hear about it? Frenemy. Why is it that it’s all good when someone thinks you are beneath them but as soon as you “come up” they start to act differently? Frenemy.

I am happy to say that upon a lot of evaluation and discovery I have a lot less frenemies around than I’ve had in the past. They say people come in your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. Well the season for my “frenemies” has come and gone.